


realise our folly

by KingLear



Series: it's you, it's me [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Marriage, No Beta, featuring: my sad dumb feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-23 23:36:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20016646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingLear/pseuds/KingLear
Summary: Bucky has always thought of Peggy Carter as a strong woman with a will that could crush rocks. But other than that, she's just another famous person he doesn't know. Until now.





	realise our folly

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to:  
> Quelqu'un m'a dit - Carla Bruni  
> 

**Steve :) at 8:43 am:** Hey, Bucky, when you get this, can you please call me back?

-

-

 **Steve :) at 9:30 am:** Bucky, please call me back. I really need to speak to you.

 _5 missed calls from_ **Steve :)**

* * *

**Natalia at 9:35 am:** Whatever you do, don't look at the news, I'm coming over right now.

 **Steve at 9:43 am:** It's not what you think it is. 

_6 missed calls from_ **Steve :)**

* * *

_You have 1 voice mail from_ **Steve :)** ;

"... Hey, Bucky. I know what you're thinking right now, and I know you think that I'm the biggest asshole in all of Brooklyn. But it's not what you think it is. Me and Peggy, we don't love each other, we're there to support each other's careers. She's just my beard. It's been like that since we've known each other. You're the one I love. She's even already met her own soulmate, her name's Angie. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, it's just that I was so afraid of something like this happening, and it all blowing up in my face. I just thought about me, and I didn't factor how it would affect you. I didn't mean to make you feel this way. Please call me back, sweetheart, I love you so much."

* * *

**Natalia at 10:01 am:** I'm here.

* * *

At first, when he'd opened the 9 am news, he was expecting more of the same droll stories. Bombings, death, and destruction. He'd picked this habit up from his dad who would often intently watch the newsreader retell the recent happenings as if they were the oracle with all the answers. Every morning at 9 am, the Barnes household would be quieter than the pin-prick of a needle as George took in the news as he inhaled his bacon and eggs. It was just the way it was.

Habitually, he turned on the TV as background noise as he hummed around his kitchen, filling up Snow's food and drink bowl, and running the coffee machine. In fact, he rarely got to do this so late except on a rare day off when his ballet schedule was off-peak, otherwise, he'd already be in his personal ballet gym well into stretching and warming up to his favourite music. 

His head pricked up at the mention of Steve's name from one of the news reporter, and he focused on what the lady in red was retelling, quietly.

* * *

"The marriage of upcoming presidential candidate Steve Rogers and feminist rights activist Peggy Carter is one of the most influential weddings of the year. The couple married just yesterday in a quaint rustic ceremony in Carters' hometown in Yorkshire, England with only immediate family members as witnesses. Mrs. Carter donned a classic A-line Vera Wang dressed with lace and pearls that is rumoured to cost around a hefty 2 million dollars. The couple have known each other since they were both attending Harvard, and were rumored to be college sweethearts -"

* * *

He blinked. Once. Twice. 

Placed his coffee on the counter before he spilled it. Turned to Snow and petted her off-handedly, the noise of her concerned whimper a blip in his mind. Turned the TV off, but not before seeing the happy smiles of his soulmate and his soulmate's wife in holy matrimony. At the blank screen, he tilted his head, feeling the salty sting of tears blur his eyes, breath turning ragged as he frantically searched on his phone online.

#capandhiswife was trending at 50,000 tweets and he couldn't help but shakily click on it to see what was happening. As he scrolled down Twitter, he saw the death and destruction of his relationship with Steve unfold right before himself. Each tweet of congratulations hammered in home the reality of his situation, each adoring picture ignited a myriad of twisting squirming emotions of despair. What was this?

Who was this? 

Steve had always been skittish of revealing who Bucky had been to the public world, in fear of the backlash that it could cause for his political career. And Bucky had understood. He'd hated being forced back into the closet but he'd understood. He understood that Steve loved him with all that he could, but he also understood Steve's sense of burgeoning responsibility for the future of their country. He'd continued their relationship knowing that he stood at a disadvantage of always being Number 2 to Steve's cause. But he'd never thought that his love for Bucky, and responsibility for their country were two mutually exclusive events.

He staggered to the floor, mute even as his knees protested at the dull thud that it fell in. 

And Sarah. Sarah who had become on his pillars in her mother-like presence over his life, she had let this happen? In the pictures, she'd adorned false smiles and hidden sadness in her eyes at the ceremony where the two of them were kissing. Or was he just imagining her emotions? Had she ever actually cared about him like a son like she'd said she had? Or was she in on it too? Did all those afternoons baking apple tarts and whiskey truffles mean nothing at all? Christmas? Hanukkah? He'd spent so much time at the Rogers' household that it had felt like he'd always been there. 

There were pictures of the three of them all around their house, plastered to the walls. He even had a few pictures that he'd favoured sitting on the living room side table of his shared flat with Peter and Eddie. Was it all a lie in the end?

His breath was shortening as he curled himself in a ball, curling his fists into his hair in frustration? anger? sadness? 

He didn't know how long he had sat there until Eddie had stumbled sleepily into their kitchen, frozen at the sight of Bucky breaking down, with Snow pawing at him in confusion and concern.

"Bucky?" He asked, carefully, approaching like one does to a stray battered cat, "Buddy, are you okay?"

Bucky didn't respond, lost in his world that was quickly crumbling down like a house of cards. He let out a choked sob disguised as an attempt at laughter, "'m fine, Eddie, I'm just the biggest fool to exist since ever,"

He continued, "Should've known to have never let it get this far, I'm so fucking dumb, Eddie, he's _married._ My soul mate is _married_ to someone. Some _else_. I was just the dumb side piece that he fucked and threw aside for something more. Fuck. _Fuck!_ " 

His phone buzzed with Steve's texts but he hurled the phone at the wall, and it cracked and went dead.

"Let's get you off the floor, bud," Eddie said softly, reaching out a hand, and Bucky took it, grabbed it like a lifeline and stood lifelessly as Eddie guided him to the brown couch. _The_ brown couch that he'd kissed Steve on so many times, he'd let Steve hold him close to his chest and whisper him sweet nothings as they watched their favourite documentaries and TV shows. Those sweet nothings had really meant nothing in the end. 

* * *

Eddie looked worriedly at Bucky before turning to Natasha and whispering, "I'm really worried about him, I hope you can take care of him, Nat."

Natasha's eyes flickered to Bucky's immobile state and whispered back, "I'll take it from here, Brock,"

* * *

"I always knew that he would get married, Nat, I did," Bucky wheezed, tears blurring his vision as he watched her cry too," I just thought it would be me walking down the aisle with him. I thought that we would get our happy ending. Our rosebushes with 2.5 inch white fences, and a bunch of k-kids that looked like us. It was all a _lie_ , Nat, _he was just a lie._ "

With that, he fell into her capable arms, shaking as he realised that there was no turning back from this. 

There was no turning back from the fact that the man he loved, and who he thought loved him, was _married_ to someone else. 

His eyes burned as he looked at his golden soul-word, words stolen from him as he saw the beginnings of it crack and start its descent into turning grey.

He was going to die.

* * *

_five months ago:_

"Stevie, are you awake?" Bucky whispered mischievously, dancing his fingers along the plain of Steve's well defined face. It twitched in happiness in his hands as Steve reached up and kissed him square on the mouth. Bucky laughed into the endearing kisses, heart thudding loudly as he saw those beautiful eyes staring right back at him, speechless as he shyly laid his face to rest on Steve's expansive chest. 

"I love you, Steve," he mumbled.

"I love you too, sweetheart," Steve whispered into his ear, like a tender promise.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, guys.  
> this vomited out from within the depths of my imagination, and i cried while i was writing this.


End file.
